One-shot wonder
by cuyslave18
Summary: In a series of unrelated one-shots, anything goes. If Simon gets into troube for using the kitchen as a lab, what will Alvin do? Mostly fluffy, kid-friendly
1. Chemical Accidents

Suddenly, David Seville heard an explosion from the kitchen. A shower of powdered chemicals could be smelled from across the house. "Alvin!" he yelled. "Alvin!"

"It was an accident, I promise," someone said from the kitchen. The voice was around a woman's tenor and had very dry tones. No laughter or pleasure came from the voice, indicating sincerity.

"Simon?" Dave asked. "Is that you?"

"Yes, Dave" replied Simon. "How could you tell?"

"Why are you in the kitchen?" Dave asked. "You know that you can't be here."

"Snow was falling and my eyes were sore, so I decided to work in the lab," Simon answered. "I conducted a yeast experiment before then I decided to mix acetic acid with cow's milk. I got bored, so I mixed hydrochloric acid with Equal brand aspartame. I did not expect a combustion reaction, and there is now formaldehyde all over the kitchen."

Dave thought for a second, then asked "How did you get hydrochloric acid. And what ic acetic acid?"

"I ordered hydrochloric acid from a laboratory online, Simon replied. "Acetic acid is undiluted vinegar."

"I'll clean up the kitchen," Dave replied. "Please go to your room." Simon did as he was told, entering the bedroom he shared with his brothers and the Chipettes. As soon as he went on his bed, his troublesome brother started to jeer.

"You just got in trouble!" Alvin jeered.

"Be quiet," the bespectacled chipmunk replied. "I'm not a known fugitive."

"Oh shut up Javert!" Alvin jeered. He was getting good at remembering the names of characters in his older brother's books. "Drown yourself in the Seine. You think too much anyway.!


	2. Distractions in Latin Class

Jeanette was in her Latin class towards the end of the day, standing on the table. Her partners were unruly teenaged boys; one was in the chool's chorus, the other two multiathletes.

"What are we doing again?" asked one athlete.

"So, we'rre not translating 'in arena' because I know nothing," the other athlete replied. "Only the little rodent in the purple glasses cares."

"Want to do the work for us, orchid rat?" the choral boy asked. Jeanette realized he was talking to her.

"We are supposed to work togehther to do the translation of both 'in arena' and 'gladiatores et Romani,'" she replied timidly "Can you just get the textbook?"

"No!"the first athlete replied. "I don't give a (beeped out) about the class!"

"I'm going to the bathroom," announced the second athlete.

"I'm going to skip tommorrow," said the choral boy.

"There are only twenty minutes until we move on to another assignment," Jeanette said, nearly stuttering, "I already started doin it. College is at sake."

"Goodbye, rat," the second athlete said as he and the choral boy left to go to the restroom.

"Can we please work together on this?" the bespectacled Chipette asked.

"Not for caviar would I pass this class," the first athlte exclaimed. The teacher came over to see what happened.

"You know about my one person at a time rule," the teacher said to the remaining athlete. "You all broke it, and will all get detention for your disruption to class."

Jeanette managed to say, "We did not break it, but our group members did."

"Since you were working as a group, the blame for disruption falls on all of you," the teacher replied, "...despite that I can barely hear you in general."

"Be more like Jeanine next time," he said directly to the second athlete. "You will be split for detention."

Jeanette was annoyed by her group's behavior because they distracted her from doing the classwork. She could only focus because of experience with her diva sister.

The teacher called on the attention of the whole class. "Hurry up with the translations," he yelled,. "We still have other assignments to do."

The second athlete and the eldest Chipette still argued. It got to the point where she could be heard by their classmates. She hadn't been that loud for over a year.

"Your grades are important"

"No, if you have all grades and no buddies, that's not life."

"Learning is fun!"

"Says the nerd who literally read all of the library's encyclopedias."

"At least I can read."

After class, both had to stay back for a few minutes. The teacher gave them a sharp glare, saying "I noticed that you two are arguing like the Seville brothers. I had them in the same class, first thing in the morning last semsester. I had to put the taller one in an AP class because of his performance."

Jeanette replied, "That case of bickering is mild. You should see them at home."

"Really?" the teacher replied. "I'm surprised they are still alive. The troublesome one had to go to the nurse because he had infected darts on his lower body."

"The great tetanus scare of November?" Jeanette asked.

"Yes, it was back in November," he replied.


End file.
